Once Rachel brought me to this Fortune teller & after looking at my Ba Zi, the lady told me  i always hold on to things too tightly and if i try to learn to let go life will be happier but its funny how she aslo tells me after that " Ah girl, its not good to totally not care about it after you really let go as there should be a balance ( pin heng ) in life for harmony "
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2 Years back when i saw her and at that very moment i felt what she said was a little crappy ( No one likes to hear negative things about them ma ! :x ) but it makes some sense now :) Baby Sis came back today and she wasn't in a good mood too , we had a heart to heart talk which we do so very often and when it was my turn to share & even before i could start talking she just told me not to put so much importance & priority on friendships or relationships unless you know that both of you are strong and able to understand each other w/o misunderstandings in no matter what obstacles faced. I agree that life has many other beautiful things to look forward too and be busy with but it takes a lot of time for a personality or a habit to be changed but i had been through so many so many things in life from family to losing of a loved one, i am not someone that will fall easily :) That settles my problems & my doubts :)
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Kept myself busy for the whole of today, hubby dear told me the day before that he was planning to bring me out but did not let me know where he was intending to go. Just tag along and realise he brought me for a simple dinner. Felt grateful for the gesture. Did not spent so much time at Tampines as MIL told me that Ah Ma was coming over to stay for the night. Prepared Mochi ( Thought it was easy but so time consuming ! ) & Nian Gao ( its still CNY!! ). Ah Ma brought over Gingko Nut Sweet Soup and could see hubby was grinning all over because that is his favourite dessert, whenever i am the one that cook it he would say its still not up to standard ! :( .
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I guess i could say my life is almost complete now excluding B dust & also ( apart from being emotional and all hard up over friendship issues & always nagging over the same issue. ). Hoho !
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Time to have a warm bowl of Gingko Nut sweet soup anddddddddddd NIAN GAO while watching rented dvd drama !!
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will write a review on the drama that i am currently crazy and addicted to another day!
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Love,
Raine

HAPPY CHINESE SNAKE YEAR EVERYONE !
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Just nice i am also born in the year of the SNAKEEEEE ~ ! Headed back to work today. & YES! i am feeling very frustrated with tinge of sadness and impatience. But i am very very lucky to have good friends around me to comfort and chat with me non stop on the mobile & friends that stick around with you, hear your bullshits, lend you a listening ear, gives you a hug as and when you need them, texting you non stop on Whatsapp and Sms just to ensure i am kept busy and not feeling so down are really a blessing !! :)  Very grateful and touched. Decided to have a simple dinner by myself and went to Hoshino's coffee at Plaza Singapura, ate their Pasta and also their souffle pancake & spent around 30sgd there. *GULPS* & off to Etude house to shop for a valentine day gift for my very special colleague and also stock up on other stuffs. Total damage done is 70SGD in a day. Sigh... Work for free today already... So ..... i am going to make it a point to keep my Atm card far far away from me at home & just bring what i need to work for my meals.
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Hey precious, its been almost a year now and i still miss you very very much, the changes you brought in me, the joy and the pain is indescribable, you are so so special to me that nobody can replace you. My heart still aches when something triggers me to think of you. You were so amazing that no one else could understand the bond between us. I will not cry when i think of you now but i still remember you very very dearly. Do you miss me too ? Are you safe up there ?
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Full shift tomorrow ! Ciaos ~

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.”-

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I was browsing through the internet and i came across this quote which manage to tuggle at my heart strings. Ever since i started working as a match maker in a marriage agency, i came across many men & women who are divorcees & once had failed marriages, time to time i will listen to their stories on why their previous marriages didn't last, & most blame it to cheating partners or lifestyle differences. At times it does make me ponder over my relationship/marriage with Corey. In the past, he would always wear the same couple shirt with me ( even though he hates clothing with pictures/designs ), he would be very attentive to my fb, showering loving statuses at my profile wall every now & then, always making sure that i am sound asleep before he goes to bed beside me, being over sensitive to certain things & always bringing me out without fail & etc etc. After we have been together for 3 years & counting, he doesn't really do all those things above anymore but does that mean he really loves me lesser? In the past, there are times when i got moody & will tend to pick on his faults which resulted in quarrels due to all this little reasons & we even had a phase whereby we both felt tired of each other but im really glad in the end both of us persevered.
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& came the turning point in my life which i don't want to mention too much & this manage to bring our gap closer together. I learnt to grow more tolerant of him, giving him more freedom & of course not being too short tempered towards him, in certain ways he has improved too. Sometimes i really wonder if more couples sit down & try to understand their partners love language more will the outcome of their marriage be different? Will they still need to pay hundreds of dollars to find a new partner? Working in this industry do let me doubt about my confidence towards my marriage but it changes my view in a sense that i no longer set unrealistic standards of a fairy tale romance & am more willing to accept that my partner grows and change, so the way of him expressing his love will be different from before. I still have a lot to learn as a wife & i am happy to accept the challenge of trying to keep my marriage/relationship harmonious & happy. I can't guarantee my marriage will be a happy ending one ( as everything takes 2 hands to clap ) but at least i have done my part. There will still be everyday petty arguments & squabbling though :) haha!
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Love,
Raine

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Dear Diary,

This marks my second day of updating my blog :) i will try to update on a daily basis, this is rather memorable as probably when years pass i can once log back and see what i have been facing through in my life. Today has been a terribly moody day for me so i decided to stop by Watson to stock up on my 2 essential beauty items, SilkyGirl CC Powder Pact ( extremely good coverage for me compared to other costlier items i have tried ) & Za Concealer ( This is super important in my makeup routine. ) I have not been buying drugstore concealer for the longest of time as my colleague always orders for me through Gmarket. 

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I have been thinking a lot about the friendship issue that i had lately & i have decided to stop & remain this way with her. I feel i should stop trying to pull her closer to me. Everything takes two hands to clap & bond. 

I stop because i love her & because i feel we all need time & everything should take its course naturally. & Maybe because i am a little tired & it is starting to affect my lifestyle. I need to get my balance back. I told her that i needed just one month but friendship should be priceless and not bounded by time or money. Right now i am glad to know that she has someone to be there , that is more important than any other factors. As long as she is happier with the way we are right now i should respect her decision. In my heart she will always hold a special place.

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& I haven't gotten my contact lens. Lazy me is always choosing sleep rather than waking up a little earlier to get it before going to work. No contact lens = No make up. Pasir Ris downtown east optical do sell certified Geo Lens, still wondering should i get it or just get the usual FreshKon ones. There are still many things in my to do list.  Nowadays night time at home is lively as Hubby is always busy gaming with his Big Bro & Cuzzie. while  baby sis ( Sister in Law ) is always busy with Poly Projects. Our home Can be a mini lan shop, its good to have bonding between brothers & i like liveliness too. Loneliness & Darkness Shoo away please !!

Cheers !